#resound11 ~ December 1, 2011: One Word.

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Last year December came just as fast as it has this year. In this internet world we live in I quickly found out that there are so many out there that just like me live on what i think should be called auto-pilot. I found a project called Reverb10 and read about it’s founder and how it had helped one of them even cope with a loss of a parent.
I found the project about a week into and honestly did not find myself in the right place mentally to jump in. I still signed up for the prompts though and then came across a prompt by Jenny Blake. It was probably the only December blog post I wrote if you have the time or inclination you can search the archives for said post. I privately answered the post and in retrospect was a little disappointed at my 2010. Yes I had my high points as anybody does, despite suffering through hardships. I swore that 2011 would be better.
 
I accomplished some of the goals I set for myself and some I still was to scared or just distracted by life to set into motion or get going on. Ultimately the old adage life got in the way and I can not say that I’m satisfied with 2011. I wonder how many years will have to go by before I truly am. I mean, won’t I always want next year to be better? Even as I type that I feel guilty for not being satisfied with what 2011 gave me.
This year there is no reverb but I found resound11 so thank you to Jaime Gyurik
Our first promt. One Word: What is one word to describe your 2011? Why does that word sum up your year?
 
Difficult
My year was difficult. I was coming off a less than spectacular year and as much as I wanted 2011 to kick ass it doesn’t get better just because I get to write 1 on my out going checks or job applications. It was difficult because although I was determined to live a more open life and refuse to continue lying to myself and those around me. The damage was done and I had a long Difficult road ahead of me. I turned 30 and I’ll tell you what it’s not like I spent the last decade in jail or anything but it’s Difficult to deal with the fact that things aren’t perfect yet. It took a couple of months and a lot of soul searching to really embrace the life I have and not the one I want. I read a blog post by the very insightful Sarah Peck recently where she stated the opposite of happiness is boredom not sadness. So I should relish in the fact that I may be a lot of things but bored is not one them.
 
Officially I ran another marathon (Los Angeles) and trained all summer and completed a triathlon (Malibu) as well. To top it all off I’ve discovered obstacle racing thanks to the Spartan Race and it has and will force me to take my fitness to another level. Helping me excel in my running and triathlon training. A task that has made for a Difficult training year because just in 2010 I had pounded the scale in excess of 280 LBS. I’m now just a tad over 200 but know now it’s just a meal plan away from breaking back into the 100’s and there is no stopping me now.
 
So as I look back at all the Difficulties I dealt with this year. I can only hope the hard work I’ve put in this year pays off in 2012. Yet I’m left with the knowledge that I can push through any difficulties it may bring and I’m left, although a little sore at first, immensely stronger on the other side.
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