At the start: Where did you start 2013? Give us some background on this year. / How do you feel, on this first day, in your mind? In your body? In your heart? In your soul?
I started the year with a lot of hope for the magic to come. After all I knew I’d meet my second child. Our first child is literally the best thing to have ever happened to me. I just knew I’d be just as happy to hold my second. I also knew that the situation I was in, could not be the one the baby would arrive into. My job at the beginning of the year was just a job, and one that was soul crushing, so before it killed all of me I needed to cut it out of my life. I had settled in the past and it ended badly so I would simply remove my self from the situation before it was truly toxic.
As December kicks off I feel that the various decisions I made through out the year were the right ones. In my mind it is all playing out the way I thought it would. I have just recently gone back to work at a job I feel is a perfect fit. Like I mentioned it’s new but already I’m not being judged or worst of all having to put up with others being treated like crap because of circumstance they had no real control over.
My body as always could use a little help from the nutrition gods because i can’t seem to outrun my bad habits as far as food but I still feel like a million bucks after a run. Today started with a hilly 13.14 miles. I still feel that I’m putting in the work that will have me running my marathon faster than the previous one.
My heart is content about the decisions it inspired. After almost 12 years of marriage I couldn’t possibly love my wife more. As I have a conversation with our son or when I stare in awe at our daughter I think back to when I first laid eyes on her and how sure I was that she was the one. She has grown up to be an even more selfless woman than I could have ever imagined she would be. I guess the signs were always there but I remember no one around me believed me or understood exactly how I could be so certain of something so deep at the age of 17, at 32 I’m still there and as cheesy at it sounds it’s one of the few things I’ve never doubted. Even if I don’t always like admitting to her.
My soul is still hungry for more and I’m ending this year with hope in my heart that if I stop getting in my own way I will be able to fill the void that a lot of struggles have left me with. Some self inflicted and some just a by product of experiences only a few will ever truly understand.