I forgot what fear really felt like #Reverb13 Day 3.

What was the bravest thing you did in 2013? What does your heart have to tell you? What storm did you weather in 2013?

I don’t know about it being brave. Especially in comparison with the various activities I took part of in my past life as a Marine infantryman. Yet in my current life it was one of the scariest obstacles I’d have to overcome. So with that logic, the “bravest” thing I did in 2013 was leave my job. It wasn’t gainful employment by any means, it was just a job. Either way after having been unemployed for quite some time prior to this job it wasn’t so much the unknown that I feared but actually another dose of the same. The hardships that we’d surely face and the idea that this time it was of my choosing and not a layoff.

I told many people that it was a choice that I did not come to lightly and that I knew in my heart that I was making the right one. I have never really been one to regret decisions but when weeks turned to months it is hard to say that I didn’t get frustrated and at times feel like there was no hope. Some days were better than others but I’m a strong believer of everyday being a good one and that although yesterdays decisions have a direct effect on my tomorrow. By that logic each new day is a chance to change my tomorrow.

This whole year was a roller coaster. Some very powerful emotions were felt by all. I mean someones birthday is usually a pretty big deal. Every single year it’s like we’re chasing a high we’ll never really match to that very first birthday, right? Yet in the very same calendar year I and therefore my family experienced some pretty horrible lows all because of a decision I feel I had to make. As understanding as family is and close friends are as well. I feel they too would have started to judge with the passing of time.

I am ending the year back in the work force. Regardless of how tumultuous the storm became I weathered it as best I could and am no longer drowning. (more like treading water) I’m certain I’ll be able to climb up on the boat in 2014. So I’m glad I had faith in what my heart told me. I was on a sinking ship and instead of going down I decided to jump. I still think that it was the pregnancy glow back in January that made me think everything would work out in the end. Even now it’s not the end.

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3 Comments

  1. Pingback: Make or break a habit with me. #Reverb13 Day 17. | Callejas Thinks

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