cheat: “to gain an advantage on a rival or foe” ~ it was a beautiful lie.
what a story. one that’s come full circle for me. many years ago i read and felt extremely inspired by the book “it’s not about the bike: my journey back to life”.
I sang it’s praises to anyone who would listen. it meant so much for me: his perseverance in the face of the disease and then to come back from that and excel in an endurance sport. Other than sparse memories of my father watching the peloton on tv, it was the first I’ve really felt intrigued by what it meant to put yourself through “pain” for fun. It would take several years after that for me to run “far”. Even longer to jump on a bike and try to even mimic an idol like Lance.
sure enough as I made a transition from just running – to completing my first olympic distance triathlon Lance was once again kicking but this time in Iron man races around the world. Something i’m sure just raised more questions about his fitness and his level of awesomeness. I still just told people what a “bad ass” lance was and about the traits I had read about in the book that made him so special. Surely it wasn’t doping.
Not to long after that I sat watching Oprah online and listening to him say that he cheated. Well not in those words because I still feel it was a non apology. He justifies it by simply saying it was the only way to compete. It really threaten to hurt the way I felt about him. Yet it’s hard because he obviously still had to do plenty of work to stay competitive and as horrible as we can imagine it to be. You can’t fake all the dedication to even go through with whatever horrors he had to.
Yes we can’t ignore the lengths he went through to cover up that lie. By his own admission it wasn’t lying over and over it was always to cover up that initial lie. Isn’t that human nature: self preservation. I don’t think it automatically makes him a psychopath. Am I too human then because as straight an arrow as I try to be, I can admit to not always making the right decision in a societal point of view. I also then remember that he didn’t actually wrong me.
Tonight I sat through the entire documentary “The Armstrong Lie”. It was tough at times to watch especially with great contrast between both people side by side. The Lance denying countless accusations or the Lance that is admitting it with out any good reason to or any show of real emotion behind it. I plan to reread the book. Perhaps with the new lens I often mention.