i woke up this morning still not shooting on all cylinders. if you’ve been reading the blog for at least a few days you know the reason. short version it’s a combination of some adult liquid calories over the weekend and my oreo binge last night.
after a shower and other morning routine stuff i woke up the boy and well he was tired to and my first reaction was less than awesome. i felt terrible the moment the words left my mouth. it wasn’t his fault that i’d made some poor decisions. not to mention he was acting just exactly how i felt on the inside (if you ask my wife i was acting like that on the outside too).
luckily i was dropping him off and so I had another half hour to first of all apologize. i’m no above apologizing to my son. i could tell he was still not certain why i had snapped but we talk like we always do and he knew dad was back on board with our normal fun.
I dropped him off and drove to work. when i drop him off i have an extra long drive and so i switch through quite a few radio stations. I heard someone reading a blog/article about being a perfect parent. they tried to talk it up only to get back to the point of it being incredibly difficult to live up to perfect standards.
i immediately thought of something i’d heard before “THE ONLY TIME YOU’RE A PERFECT PARENT IS BEFORE YOU HAVE CHILDREN”. I couln’t help but smile at the thought that I had just messed something up royally that morning but that ultimately it wasn’t the end of the world. The day would go on. Not I nor anyone else would be a perfect parent and for the most part parents do the best with what they have.
I will always think back on the first day I met either one of my children and wonder how soon after i met them did I mess something up. i will say that lessons learned from meeting the boy has made me a better father to the girl and meeting the girl has made me think about the man i’ve become and how different i am to the man who met the boy.
i’ll end this post with another i’m sorry to my son. i try very hard to not stress out on life and even more so to keep your life as peaceful as possible since life will be hard as it is with out your dad adding to the crazyness.