You’re it!

He’d been in the pool for all of 5 min before I heard him yell out “you’re it!” which means either he or the other kids had said “Want to be friends?”

It will never cease to amaze me how fast and easy kids can make “friends”. When then do we lose that gift? As I’ve gotten older it has definitely become harder to make friends. Are my expectations too high? Or are they too low, and so I sabotage any friendship before it has any chance of growing into anything better.

I look at when I made friends: elementary school, if it wasn’t for facebook I don’t think I would speak to any of them. (I suppose I don’t really speak to them). Middle School/Jr. High I went to a school other than my homeschool so I think that may have hindered communication with some of the grade school friends. Would that be different now in the age of texting and IM’ing? High School for one reason or another I ended up going to 4 different schools. I speak to only one person from middle/jr  and only a couple of people from high school are actually part of my life again if not for FB. Even those people are mostly linked to my wife (whom I met in high school).

The next chapter in my life was the military. I spent xx years in the Marine Corps and I made bonds with people that I know will be actually part of my life forever. Each bond stronger than the last. From training to actual combat. I can remember meeting each of those people and what they meant and how they got me through those tough days and the of course the tough days that follow an enlistment.

After the Marine Corps I didn’t think I’d make friends again. I then joined a group of athletes that showed me I couldn’t be more wrong. I remember the first few days and probably weeks and months it took for me to open up to them. I felt they’d never understand me. They do understand, and surprisingly enough I understand them. As I write these words I come to the realization that it’s been 4 years since I met those folks and I haven’t made any real friends since then. So again, why do we or I refuse to make these connections. Certainly I’ve met people in the last 4 years, right? Yet none really important as all those previously mentioned. (One that comes close I feel close to only because his name and everything about him reminds me of a friends that is very sadly no longer just a phone call away.)

Just as the “you’re it!” earlier made me take a look at friendship and the part it’s played in my life. His goodbye gave me some more insight. “OK bye” and then he walked my way. “I made a friend dad” he exclaimed. Before we even made it to the elevator he had moved on. So I guess there’s just no pressure when we’re young because we haven’t dealt with loss yet. As I’ve grown older I guess I’m done wanting to invest too much of myself in someone I might lose. I will continue to treasure those in my very small circle of friends. All the while hoping it was still OK as adults to say “Want to be friends?”

 

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they gave me a bedtime….your honor

i read an article today about a teenager who decided she would sue her parents. i have to admit that there is not a lot of information just yet. still the internet has taken it and ran away with it.

from “news” agency to news agency the descriptor of her has changed. one did identify her as an honor student but later on in the day she was identified as a cheerleader. why not mention the lacrosse team she was also a part of.

yes i’m sure there is some truth to the fact that she is a bit entitled and well moving in with a best friend who’s father is an attorney doesn’t hurt. (anyone but her parents). just like other parents fight to still have their kids on their insurance and as overall dependents until after college. why shouldn’t the same rules apply to her if she doesn’t want to be “emancipated”.

she is definitely used to a certain lifestyle and that is of there doing so regardless why should the “pay”. let us not forget the fact that their income is taken into account when determining her financial aid eligibility. so why not use those funds if the simple truth that they exist messes her up.

I made the claim on FB that things are fairly similar to a divorce where the wife, up until that point, was OK with financial arrangements but now that we talk about rules or other stipulations, the relationship is not as fun so they made an exit. In all honesty I really hope she wins and if it does start a trend I’m sorry. yet I’m confident that if my children sue me I deserve it because i raised some damn brats.

anyway enough rant for now. #runstreak update Day 97.

Unbroken

Post a day be damned today almost got away from me. the wife was working late which means I was playing a game of 2 on 1 that I have to admit I did pretty well on.

anyway right when I was about to throw in the towel I remembered a trailer that I saw today and well I thought to myself I better share it because just as I had never heard of this man, others may never had heard about him or the book this movie is based on.

So here it is? Have any of you read the book? I will be buying the book tomorrow and will be watching Angelina Jolie’s take it as soon as possible. If any of you have hooks ups for me to watch it right away , let me know.

Flying Solo

Our little girl was born 3 months ago. I’ve fed her and changed her countless times. I’ve gotten up in the middle of the night more times than I’ll ever be able to count. 

Last Monday though was the wife’s first day back at work. Which means it was my first official day as a stay at home Dad. For all the times I told my wife that I’d be OK. I will admit that it was a very scary undertaking. I was more hands on with my boy. When, at the time, my young wife would hesitate to do or take care of something, I pushed forward with out pause. My wife would argue that at times stepping in too much and not allowing her more hands on time. Fast forward 8 years and in an effort to allow her more bonding time I admittedly took a more relaxed position. I would help out but not to the point of being over bearing. 

Now all the “baby bonding” time is over. Or so the state of California says it is. Well for me that meant every single feeding and every single changing. Wet and dirty. When she got fussy I went down my mental checklist of what she could be trying to tell me and when I succeeded melted I saw that smile. She didn’t sleep as much as I knew she slept on a regular basis. I’m convinced my little girl missed her mom, as much as I did. Anytime I felt even a little bummed though or began to really question if I could do this for the long haul, she would smile and I would realize how lucky I am to have this opportunity.

The days leading up to my first day were full of doubt and fear. When I put my head on the pillow that night I couldn’t help but smile at the notion that I have quite a few more days like this one to come. Yet I’ll never forget my first.

Daily Prompt: First!Image

Up & Writing

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The first day of the year is almost over. It’s like the end of the movie you knew would come but now that is done you wish you could watch for the very first time again. I started the day with my favorite thing to do running. Not a lot of mileage since I’m in a mini taper for my half marathon (The Inaugural New Year’s Race this upcoming weekend.

Even though it is a route I’ve ran hundreds if not thousands of times by now. I couldn’t help but be moved by the site of my route curving up ahead. That’s kind of what today means. I know some of what’s to come this year and yet the exact details and the way things will look or how I’ll get through them isn’t certain.

I didn’t make resolutions per se because I know those are meant to be broken or doomed to be broken. Yet I am recommitting to lifestyle changes I decided on some time ago now. I’m going to continue reading more. I’m going to keep running and really take control of what I eat. When I waver I will look to those that have battled and conquered the things I battle with. 

Mainly I’m going to write, it’s the one thing that I’ve kind of let fall to the way side to make time for the activities mentioned above. So here I am closing in on midnight and day 2 of this New Year and I’m writing. I can not promise that it will be daily but at the very least I promise you 52 post, with hopes of giving you even more of myself. 

I have so much to document this year. If I want to succeed in my nutrition changes documenting my successes and failures will provide a visual map of what works and what doesn’t. I also will always remember this year as I know it will be a good one. Only result possible when I few every new day as a gift. A written history of this year will be essential. 

I’m also certain every part of my life is not shareable or perhaps I’m just not bold enough to share it all yet. One day I will but for now, I’ll be using 750words program to write and then write some more on a daily basis. That I’m sure of. 

#projectreflect12 ~ December 14, 2012: Remember Me

December 14: Remember Me

Perhaps you did something this year that made you stick out among the crowd. What is one thing you did in 2012 that you want people to remember you by? Additionally, is there anything that happened this year that you don’t want to be remembered by?

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I want to be remembered this year and every year after this as someone who made a difference in somebody's life. I'm honored and lucky enough to be a father and well I think I've been given a gift of being responsible for giving this world a productive and even kinder version of myself. I've dedicated this year to being kind to those people that surround me and my family. 

I want to be remembered as the type of person who helps out and lends a hand in any way he can. I may not be in the position to provide financial help that I know is sometimes crucial but in the time I can give my time and serve the community that I live in. By doing so teaching my son that this is the only way to live life. He won't have to work hard at it he'll be raised that way. 

I don't want to be remembered as the parent of someone the world will view as a burden but as a special person. Someone who will make a huge difference in the world. Hopefully inspired by my small part in the ripple that is a good deed. 

#projectreflect12 ~ December 13, 2012: Loss

December 13: Loss

We’ve all experienced loss at some point in our lives, whether it was the loss of a loved one or a family pet, or maybe you lost something that was deeply important to you that you can’t get back. Did you experience loss in 2012? What was it, and how did it affect you emotionally?

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Dear Grandma, 

I miss you! I've been thinking a lot about you these last couple of weeks as I reflect on my year. A few days ago I wrote about how awful I felt at my behavior those last couple of days. I am so sorry and I know I will for the rest of my life live with those decisions. I find myself finding solace in the fact that in turn I will also never be allowed to forget you.

I've discussed your passing with many friends. Some that knew of you and some that didn't have the pleasure of meeting you and what I got from both groups is that you'll never really leave me so long as I don't forget you. So as I do with everything important in my life I'll write about it. Except that as writing my post about you a few days back was excruciating. I decided to write to you. I'm torn about religion as you very well know. What I do know is that you believe. So then, I should believe you can read this. 

Karl turned 7 this year on your birthday! He had an amazing day and just as you might imagine we wished you a happy birthday as well. As we now prepare for our first Holiday season with your smiles and stolen pictures (because I know how much you hated taking them). I'll add that I really hope everyone can keep it together. My mom misses you so much. 

I hope this is the first of many letters. Although I'm sure I won't be sharing many others. 

Your loving grandson,

Jose