1 week down

10 to go!

I've written about my relationship with running on this blog before. As I looked to log back in to this account I realized I haven't written in a while. At least not for anyone to read. I couldn't help but wonder if the funk I find myself in with my running is related to the fact that I haven't really written or emptied out my mind on to paper or onto my little space on the internet.

As I do with a lot of life's issues,  I turn to the all mighty oracle (Google). I started searching for others in a funk with running. Now I don't mean those folks that refuse to run because it's bad for your knees or because hate it. I mean those folks that love running but at times can fall into a rut and it becomes a chore instead of the freeing amaze-ball experience it is/should be.

All roads lead to getting some fresh eyes on my situation and that meant working with a coach. I follow a lot of runners on various social media accounts. Only a select few deem a follow on every platform though and lo and behold as accomplished as this specific runner is (5 x Boston marathoner), they were also working with a coach. So I was in and why not the same coach they're working with. I of course quickly reached out. Half thinking I wouldn't get any response.

Fast forward a week. A phone conversation and quite a few back and forth via email and text as well as on running apps. I'm done with week 1. Clocking in 26.5 miles. Not a lot of mileage over what I've been running but with new purposeful running and even enjoying the day off instead of beating myself up all day about taking a day off at all.

Any thoughts on what else I can do to keep this going? w/ running or this blog?

 

Surprise Mothe*%^*&!

Day 2.

What surprised you this year?

A year is a long time. I could probably pick out how many things surprise me daily, everyday is surprising if you really pay attention. As I racked my brain though, for a moment that really surprised me I kept coming up with moments where I lost my “cool” and couldn’t really hold in my emotions. I won’t go into much detail as there are too many for this particular post. Some regarding my children, even some long forgotten arguments with the curly one. Still none really made me feel the way remembering a very SURPRISINGLY emotional moment I felt so far from home.

I’d been running for about 12 miles. Now yes, that’s a lot of miles but it wasn’t the distance that got the best of me. Despite the less than stellar build up I had adjusted the pace to simply complete the race and take it all in. After all I didn’t travel to the other side of the country to fail. Yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. Talk about surprise. I read the first name and along with it a picture of two beautiful children smiling on what I can only guess is their Daddy’s lap. Then another picture and another. All different ranks, and along with the names the date they bid this world good bye. I had read about the “blue mile” but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming emotion I felt. I thought of my two beautiful children and how lucky I am that they don’t have to for now live in a world with out their dad or mom.

Then like a 1-2 punch after all the names and pictures a sectioned lined completely by those “gold star” families. So yes, those left behind to suffer and endure the pain that War leaves in it’s wake. I had stopped to walk during the names. I wanted to make sure and read as many as I could. The moment after I high fived a couple of the kids I knew I couldn’t help but cry and so as they cheered for me and all the other runners I had to run. As is the case when sad about war I feel guilty for being home. Especially when I’m not where I’d like to be in life just yet.

So I ran, probably faster than I should have but then again it always feels that way in the last 10K of a marathon. I reached “the bridge”, the point of no return in the Marine Corps Marathon. It means I had to finish. Right before crossing the finish line I found my son, who my wife had made sure was there to see Daddy. I hugged and kissed him and my wife took a picture of my smiling next to Daddy.

I finally crossed the finish line, a newly minted Lieutenant placed the beautiful Eagle Globe & Anchor.  It was just as sweet as the first time I earned mine. I hobbled with the rest of the runners over to the Marine Corps Memorial and I couldn’t have been prouder to be a Marine. It was not lost on me that I was extremely lucky to be walking towards my family.

it’s going to be OK

Next year I’m going to let go of the need to beat myself up for not writing as much as I do come December.

Every year is the same, I write all of December, maybe even a post or two in January and then by the time my birthday comes around the blog fever has left me until something really sticks out to me or until reverb15.

So after a few years I know exactly how the story will play out. So in 2015 that will not be the case. I will write when my fingers won’t allow it any other way. I will not be a slave to a writing schedule. I will let go of all the hard feelings towards my writing and by default myself. Here’s to happy writing and for rest days that keep you just as busy.

Steady Your Hearts…Choose Your Glory!!

i hadn’t been at the movies since i took a solo trip to the theater for “Wolf of Wallstreet”. i’m not sure how i managed to stay away for this long but I’m glad that dry spell is over. i think it was a good movie to break the rut too. “300: Rise of an Empire”. It won’t be winning any awards but it’s OK sometimes you just want to see some stuff blow up and bad assery at it’s finest.

i think it’s because at one point i was on the receiving end of one of those motivating speeches before going into battle that i can really appreciate those moments regardless of how cheesy it seems out of context of any real fear or danger for the audience.

obviously my battle was different and i was wearing just a tad bit more clothing but as any other warrior can tell you it’s not the size of your war that matters. the feeling just before it is what will forever stay with me. I guess it’s the overwhelming amount of time you hover in fight or flight mode that really does a number on how anything else will ever be experienced in our lives.

which brought me back to real life. i’ve expressed how my build up wears me down and i start seeing marathon in everything. well this movie really did a number on me. the first battle is actually the battle of marathon. the entire narrative of the movie is taking us towards Athens like that first marathon did so very long ago.

well that’s my two cents. i enjoyed the movie because i can check out when i walk through the door, if you’re already a fan then you will dig it. it’s not a pre-qual or a se-qual it’s more of a parallel story to the one of Leonidas and his 300.

#runstreak update. Day 100!!

it’s taper week suckers…leave me alone.

it’s my 5th consecutive LA Marathon and 6th marathon over all. you’d think i’d have this under control by now. but noooo my nerves are still causing havok on my day. it’s taper week and without fail, i now feel like i’m fighting off a cold or something. if history is repeats itself i’ll be just fine on race day and after a mile or two i’ll settle into a nice race pace and the rest is as “easy” as a marathon can be.

yet it’s crazy to be dealing with this and now having to wait. truthfully I wish the race was tomorrow and that i can get it over with. & that’s what I hate. the day off I end up enjoying every bit of pain and the highs and lows are equally gratifying. yet leading up to it I’m a mess. anyone else have dreams or other panic inducing issues before race day?

ultimately I do believe that this week should be a restful one and that I should trust that the last 4 1/2 months of running will do the trick. I just have to trust that i’ve already done all that is needed and that stressing about it this week will only negatively affect my race. so i’m going to try and focus on day by day. tomorrow i have work so keeping busy does help. both Thursday & Friday I have only 1 mile planned. On the schedule it’s a ‘rest’ day but of course I’m still on my #runstreak and it will be day 99 and 100 respectively.

my plans for Saturday are still up in the air. i’m really torn about running on Friday logging 100 consecutive days of running and then resting on Saturday before the race or extend it right through my Sunday run and possibly ending at 102 (race day) I’m also through two months of running and completing the 365 days of running seems attainable. will i want to break it then? should i break it now so it’s not a huge deal?

 

alright, alright, alright…..just keep living!

last night i, along with any other film buffs in the city if not the world watched as hollywood’s elite threw a party and told each other how awesome they were.

i think it’s pretty great because i do love the movies and i can’t keep a straight face telling my humble “war” stories let alone really sell some of the roles that last nights nominees were up for.

I take it for what it is entertainment. I don’t think that these people shouldn’t care about certain causes or fights. yet i don’t necessarily think that it’s the place to make statements of a political nature. I feel when one does it seems out of place and the message even is lost because of the opportunistic nature of it.

not to mention someone always seems to have a problem with what these actors say or don’t say. Jared Leto got it “right” this time by talking about people that have lived with the struggles he tried to portray. yet it seems he wasn’t specific enough and so still criticized for it. He mentioned AIDS by name. Matthew Mcconaughey on the other hand did not and then tried to make sense of what he though about 10 years ago and maybe even 10 years before that.

The same could be said for other actors and speeches but I chose to point those two out because it proof of being damned if you do and damned if you don’t. MM did thank God and so that group of people were happy. Is that what he didn’t mention AIDS or the LGTB community. I’ll add that I didn’t read that and if I mention that it’s just because thats how easy these media outlets make a story take off.

With the advent of social media stories spread even faster and i think with even less regard for truth. This group is mad and they should or shouldn’t be. I really think that it’s selfish of us to be upset about what some one said at their party that we were lucky enough to be invited to. Maybe they’ll start doing that in private next time. We would all sit there and read about what went on. If only to criticize what people wore.

I try not to be negative on my blog or on FB but today I guess I chose to vent here before doing so on FB. I figured if I wait till Tuesday all the Oscar buzz will be gone and my feed will go back to fighting about the other celebrities I mean loud mouthed politicians. I guess it could be worse. My friends could all be careless and not read or watch the news.

apperantly i live in paradise

beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely.

i think it is extremely difficult to choose so I’ll go with “somewhere else entirely”.

luckily I live in Los Angeles, I can and have started my day at the beach and worked my way through forested roads on my way to the mountains. as i type this i’m reminded that a week from today I will actually run across the city and go from mountain area through what was once forested land and end at the beach. i’m a little crazy because i’ll be doing it on foot but again i consider myself lucky to be able to do so.

i’m also very lucky that i can say that weather wise we’ll be looking at a gorgeous day for running. (knock on wood) our weekend of winter here in southern California was a crazy one. by wednesday it promises to be back in the 70’s and looking amazing once the dark clouds are gone. which makes me just a little concerned for those folks traveling from the east coast and acclimated to the polar vortex. it will feel like on oven compared to temperatures they’ve been dealing with.

as far as i’m a little optimistic about how the weather will turn out. this will be the 5th consecutive year I’ll be running the los angeles marathon. i’ve ran it through the heaviest rains in recent history and also one of the driest days we’ve had in a long time. so here’s to the goldie locks of environments not to hot, not to cold, but just right.

accountability is key

as far as writing prompts are concerned i’ve seen the one about writing a letter to your past self about a 100 times. my past self is kind of annoyed at hearing how things will be.

today a prompt i found had me writing to someone in the future. i guess i should write about how i hope things are now(then). i of course started to write because i know exactly how i want things to be. notice i immediately thought of writing to myself and not my children. i’m not ready to admit that i won’t be here for their forever.

as i started to type a letter to myself and wrote down things complimenting the new house or success at work. a fear like none other came over me. what if those things aren’t real just yet. how far in the future do i need to send this letter for that to be the case. then i was even more critical at the fact that i’m not sure if those things will ever happen.

so i’ve decided that the letter should not be for a younger Jose who wouldn’t listen to reason anyway. lets face it, that’s what got to us to where we are now and although I know it’s where we need to be on this journey of mine it’s not. i can’t write to future Jose because of reasons already explained above. so this letter really needs to be me now.

Hey Jose,

it’s almost midnight again, you really do have to start posting to your blog a lot earlier than “almost tomorrow”. so i need you to understand that i’m in no way complaining about how things are going lately. life is better than where you were just last year. i just need you to understand that if you want things to be the same or somewhat better then you’re good. yet if your goal is to be a 10 times better then  you need to make a change. you need to make changes in how you perceive accountable.

I want you to lose some weight. I’ve been nice and getting by on just your running as you can see is not cutting it. i read somewhere that you should let the time something will take discourage you, because the time will pass no matter what. so just start eating better. as well as posting your runs maybe you should start an online journal of what you eat. when forced to look back daily or weekly at what you eat it has to have an impact on the autopilot that just says go.

I need you to continue writing but if and when you feel stuck ,do not be shy about turning to classic pen and paper.

always w/ you,

Jose Callejas

 

 

to 365 or not to 365

tomorrow is the last day of February.

i’ve started my 8th book and just like I’m considering taking a break from my #runstreak (after the marathon), I’m thinking ofs taking a full week off of reading.

I don’t know that I like the pressure of having to do something everyday for any period of time, let along for a whole year.

are any of you on any kind of streaks. have you ever done anything for a full year? how many days in a row have you ran? What’s the most # of books you’ve read in year?

 

rain, rain, go away

i think i hate it when it rains.

no i’m absolutely sure.

#runstreak update: Day 91: 4 miles.

luckily i was done with the run just minutes before the rain. so to all my angelenos our week of winter is coming. to all my friends from the other coast. the polar vortex is apparently here and my beautiful sky is gloomy and crying.

the sound of rain will obviously not help the “insomnia”. I’m so annoyed, and that seems to wake me up even more. On a good note like I mentioned about earlier I finally ran more than 1 mile and actually felt pretty good about my run.

“how’s the weather in your neck of the woods?” For those just visiting LA, I apologize I assure you this is a fluke.