apperantly i live in paradise

beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely.

i think it is extremely difficult to choose so I’ll go with “somewhere else entirely”.

luckily I live in Los Angeles, I can and have started my day at the beach and worked my way through forested roads on my way to the mountains. as i type this i’m reminded that a week from today I will actually run across the city and go from mountain area through what was once forested land and end at the beach. i’m a little crazy because i’ll be doing it on foot but again i consider myself lucky to be able to do so.

i’m also very lucky that i can say that weather wise we’ll be looking at a gorgeous day for running. (knock on wood) our weekend of winter here in southern California was a crazy one. by wednesday it promises to be back in the 70’s and looking amazing once the dark clouds are gone. which makes me just a little concerned for those folks traveling from the east coast and acclimated to the polar vortex. it will feel like on oven compared to temperatures they’ve been dealing with.

as far as i’m a little optimistic about how the weather will turn out. this will be the 5th consecutive year I’ll be running the los angeles marathon. i’ve ran it through the heaviest rains in recent history and also one of the driest days we’ve had in a long time. so here’s to the goldie locks of environments not to hot, not to cold, but just right.

Remembering the montsters

Today was a holiday and therefore it rendered Monday null & void. It felt like a Sunday and so with the day off from work the kids and I lounged for the day.

The only difference is that there wasn’t much as far as “Sunday” night television was concerned. It got me thinking about our Sunday nights watching Dexter. Most recently the Netflix marathon we had a couple of weeks back.

Around here though the sounds Dexter are still a regular occurrence . You see my little girl has an ear for the them song and well it can calm her even from her craziest (for now) fits. I told several folks and obviously a sign of our times they needed to see/hear it to believe it. So here we are. My wife took a video and the rest is history. I play it every once in a while.

What do you guys think? What calms down your children?

http://instagram.com/p/i6qZMwp1Wk/

You Underestimate the Power of The Dark Side

Facebook finally got there act together and trending topics are working. #hashtags are also working properly now. It’s a big deal you know especially when your circle of friends frequent the site. 

From time to time it seems your entire list of friends take part on specific surveys or questionnaires based on a favorite movies or TV shows. Todays: which Star Wars character are you. After about 14 questions I was given the dark lord Darth Vader. 

It did not surprise me. I answered all the questions to the best of my knowledge with out suger coating or being to pc on any part of it. Pretty much the way I like to live my life. I also find the list of people that would agree with that is getting longer. 

I think for the last couple of years I have tried my best to stray away from the dark reputation that being in the service. Specifically in the Marine Corps has left me. I notice how people react to me if they find me disagreeing with something in the least. That’s not with it’s own frustrations. 

I know something inside me has changed since becoming a father and I suppose those that see me for who I am now and not necessarily what I was like in the past is going to have the pleasure or curse of knowing me for a long time to come. To the rest I warn “you underestimate the power of the dark side!” 

Stadium to the sea x 5

It’s almost ten at night. I’ve been up for about 18 hours. So just shy of an hour per mile that I ran this morning.

The LA Marathon is just 54 days away. As far as long runs are concerned I’ve got 3 20 milers left and it’s game time.

As I waited for my alarm at 3:50 am this morning. Yeah I was up before the alarm actually looking forward to getting out on the road. I was out the door by 4:15 and off to meet my running partner I went. 19 miles went by fairly fast all things considered (hills & all).

The rest of the day has been a blur because all I could think of before the run, during the run, after the run was FOOOD!! It wasn’t the worst day I’ve ever had calorie wise but I do wish I could have done better. I’m still going strong with the dry January I challenged myself with. Truth be told I’m not much of a drinker (anymore) anyway but I figured it would help with hydration as I build up towards my 5th LA race.

So who has any tips for me as I head into yet another several weeks of long runs. I know as much as I love it I get a little burned out towards the end and I want to get the most out of my training this time around.

What I know for sure is that from sunrise to sundown my mind was RUNNING

 

I’m clearly giving this too much thought

I’m torn about whether I believe in Destiny or not. On one hand I want to believe that everything is predetermined because if that’s the case I can stop worrying because it will all work out in the end or simply end. No need to worry at all. On the other hand I hate to think that I have no control on what is going on. If destiny is real then there’s no point to really think things through, right? I mean, first thing that comes to mind is probably the way to go.

Isn’t that what I’ve been doing though. I always go with my instinct and have really become accustomed to trusting my gut. It hasn’t steered me wrong yet. Or has it? I suppose it’s subjective and depending on who you asked they might be quick to point out when and how I’ve been wrong.

Either way if there was any chance to read a book about my life I would totally read it. I am after all the type of person to read a book before the movie so that I can experience the movie on a more deeper level changes or not.

#runstreak update Day 45 : 9mi

Social roles limit us in all sorts of ways

32 flavors: Vanilla, chocolate, or something else entirely?

It’s Friday night. I think I’m starting to see shit. I didn’t get much sleep last night because after 5 months of fairly regular sleeping patterns K(2) decided she needed to stay up late. The wife and I figured we really threw her internal clock up with all the holiday festivities.

Even as I right this I think what really happened is that now I’m the one that won’t get some sleep. There’s only an hour left to “today” and I’m no where near falling asleep. I’m certainly going to pay for this tomorrow morning right around mile 6 of a 9 mile run. I just know it.

What I do know is that I want some ice cream now. Thanks a lot daily post. It will be strawberry of that I’m certain. Oddly enough I have no problems now about ordering strawberry. Yes that does suggest that at one point I would only get the strawberry ice cream or strawberry shake when the wife was around. I hated that. It took a while but now I make sure that’s exactly what I order.

I think a lot of it has to do with what I want to be OK for my son to do. I don’t ever want anyone but him to define who he is. It’s the same way now when I think of my daughter being told she can’t do this or that.

Well enough ranting for tonight. What I won’t allow them to do is mess too badly with my sleep. I have to get it when it comes. It’s not always easy to get in the first place unless I’ve ran some “crazy” amount of miles during the day.

#runstreak update : Day 44. I’m so excited that I’m certain I’ll reach day 50. I’ve come to far to stop now.

Hello! Anybody there????

1984 : You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.

My room of torture would be completely bare. That’s what I fear, losing everyone and everything I know to be true and constant in my life. I assume one day I’ll be OK with being completely alone. For the time being the only time I’m at peace with my demons is while on a run. Other wise it’s just about too much to bare.

I’m sure that it may be some kind of Freudian revelation but I don’t know what it is or have the energy to look up what I’m doing or what it means.

Yet seriously disturbing would be the missing of my material positions but nothing would even compare to what losing my family could possibly do.

Aside from all that being alone just sucks all around. I don’t have to be OK with that and I’m sure when I am it means I’m getting ready to check out.

 

I’ve always wondered if you remember me ma’am

Teacher’s pet: Tell us about a teacher who had a real impact on your life, either for the better or the worse. How is your life different today because of him or her?

I think the teacher who had the most impact on me was my kindergarten teacher. I didn’t attend pre-school and so she was my very first teacher. Her name was Mrs. Moore and she taught for many years at Atwater Village Elementary School. Of course my school year with her is a blur and I have various different memories with her and her kindness really sticks out for me.

Atwater is a tiny neighborhood in Los Angeles and although with in a sprawling city. Everyone in Atwater knows each other. So you can imagine how many kids my age and older I knew who had been with Mrs. Moore for kindergarten. I have cousins 10 years my senior that were with her when they were in elementary school.

I think the biggest contribution she made was a the years after having met me. Through out my elementary stay she checked in with me and my family from time to time. She spoke to my parents about my potential and about options for my future schooling. She helped my parents pick out a better school for me as opposed to the middle school where the rest of my friends would be going. (I probably would have met my wife 5 or 6 years earlier if I had gone to Irving).

When I enlisted in the Marine Corps I went to her with that information as the young man she knew I would become. We talked about how even at 5 years old she could tell I was a leader and definitely not a follower. Years after that I brought my wife to meet her and at that point it wasn’t even odd to me that I was sharing such special moments in my life with my kindergarten teacher.

My one regret is that life got in the way and we grew apart. She of course finally retired from a long career of teaching. I never got a chance to introduce her to my son. Or now my daughter. I wonder from time to time if she is doing well or if the connection I had meant that much to her when on her end it’s a countless amount of students who might feel the same way.

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zerotohero: digging my new header image

 

Dark place exists, I can no longer stay

Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?

sadly as positive as I try and be about things I often feel helpless. It’s usually when I’m exhausted. Maybe a few days of very little sleep. I sleep well on nights after days that I work out so I’ve tried to make that a habit. On days that I don’t do anything active it takes for ever to fall asleep. On those days I guess I let the pace slow down to much and the negativity catches up with me.

i usually let it hang around for a few minutes an hour at most because I can appreciate how sad I can get and makes the happy moments in my life worth living/feeling.

Another thing I’ve learned helps is going back through pictures I’ve taken of my family. My wife, son and now daughter. I’m instantly transported to the moment I took that picture along with the feelings of the day. The moment leading up to the picture and how glad I was I got the right shot and what I did the rest of the day. I share pictures on FB or instagram and well that’s always easily accessible.

One picture that always makes me feel better I took a couple years back already. My son has since grown up a lot but the innocence and anticipation I captured in that picture will forever be with me. I can’t ever let my helplessness win/take over because he needs more than that.

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A post shared by José Callejas (@callejas214)

 

 

 

Let me guess, you want to know………

Let me guess, you want to know why I tried to kill myself.

Call Me Ishmael: Take the first sentence from your favorite book and make it the first sentence of your post.

Anyone who knows anything about me will tell you I’m always reading. I’ve really worked on just reading one book at a time because it got to a point where I was reading 2 or 3 books at a time. After the baby was born the lack of sleep was making it hard to keep all the characters straight.

So the “first line of my favorite book” no way. There’d be too many and I’d end up with list, ugh! So what I’ll do is give you the first line of the book I’m currently reading.

“Let me guess, you want to know why I tried to kill myself.”

I’m currently reading “for one more day” by Mitch Albom of Tuesdays with Morrie fame. I of course read Tuesdays with Morrie and wouldn’t call it earth shattering but did enjoy reading it. I wouldn’t necessarily search for Mitch Albom books because of it. In fact truth be told I found this on one of many trips to goodwill I make to find books when my queue is running low.

I like everyone else do judge books by their covers. You know you can’t help it. Thanks to that very adage though I try and open books and scan a few pages. Usually try and read the first few lines as well. As you might imagine after reading the first line of this book I was hooked and though the $1.99 price tag was of course perfect.

I’ve only gotten through the first 100 pages and of course I still don’t know why this guy thought it was the end but I’ve learned a lot about him and his relationship with his parents. In the interest of full disclosure I’ll add that I always find parallels between the books I’m reading and life at the moment. I think the universe provides exactly what I should be reading at any given time.

No I’m not at any kind of ropes end where I might think ending it all is the only answer. I will say thought that I’m at a bit of a crossroads with my parents. I read (somewhere else, not this book) that we all have a moment when were realize that our own paths are not necessarily in line with our parents and that it can be debilitating. Is this where I am now? Or am I making more than I should of a less than important situation.

It does not help that the holidays are now over and we just go right back into the routine of things. Or its that the best answer to this situation?

Anyway, believe me I can’t wait to here why this guy killed himself in the mean time I’m learning a lot about his parents. Anyone read this yet or interested in me telling you what happens once I’m done reading?

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zerotohero update: I’ve followed a few more blogs and topics. It’s amazing how many bloggers are out there that want to be heard just like me.