Our little girl was born 3 months ago. I’ve fed her and changed her countless times. I’ve gotten up in the middle of the night more times than I’ll ever be able to count.

Last Monday though was the wife’s first day back at work. Which means it was my first official day as a stay at home Dad. For all the times I told my wife that I’d be OK. I will admit that it was a very scary undertaking. I was more hands on with my boy. When, at the time, my young wife would hesitate to do or take care of something, I pushed forward with out pause. My wife would argue that at times stepping in too much and not allowing her more hands on time. Fast forward 8 years and in an effort to allow her more bonding time I admittedly took a more relaxed position. I would help out but not to the point of being over bearing.

Now all the “baby bonding” time is over. Or so the state of California says it is. Well for me that meant every single feeding and every single changing. Wet and dirty. When she got fussy I went down my mental checklist of what she could be trying to tell me and when I succeeded melted I saw that smile. She didn’t sleep as much as I knew she slept on a regular basis. I’m convinced my little girl missed her mom, as much as I did. Anytime I felt even a little bummed though or began to really question if I could do this for the long haul, she would smile and I would realize how lucky I am to have this opportunity.

The days leading up to my first day were full of doubt and fear. When I put my head on the pillow that night I couldn’t help but smile at the notion that I have quite a few more days like this one to come. Yet I’ll never forget my first.